Yesterday, I had a teeny tiny hamburger for dinner. On Thursday, I had chicken. Wednesday night was ramen and Tuesday was tempura. And on Monday, I ate a turtle.
In continuation of their noble quest to introduce their favorite gaijin to all manner of exotic Japanese cuisine, the softball men took me out to eat snapping turtle on Monday night. I generally enjoy meat, probably because in most American dishes the meat is prepared so that it no longer looks anything like the animal it came from. But the turtle was a little bit different.
Cooking a turtle Japanese style seems quite simple, actually. Feel free to take a moment to add this to your own repertoire of 30 minute meals if you like. It looks to me like you catch the turtle (20 min.), stick it in a pot (30 sec.), throw in some vegetables and seasoning (30 sec.), boil (9 min.) and serve. You don't have to clean the turtle or anything, and every single bit of it is edible. Pretty cool, eh?
Our shortstop wasted no time in fishing the turtle's head out of the pot and putting it on my plate. I wasn't too excited about eating the head, but fortunately I was able to trade with the girl sitting next to me for a hand instead. In case you're wondering, the meat tasted like a combination of fish and chicken. It wasn't bad, but I'm not sure that I would go out of my way to eat it again.
While I was congratulating myself on successfully downing the hand, the chef brought out glasses filled with some sort of red liquid. The softball men eagerly informed me that the red stuff was a mixture of turtle blood and sake. If sticking the turtle's hand in my mouth was a bit unsettling, drinking its blood seemed almost barbaric, but the old men insisted that I give it a try, so I took a sip. Of course, it really didn't taste like blood at all -- just alcohol. I asked the softball men why they didn't drink straight sake instead, and they told me that turtle blood is supposed to be very good for your health. I certainly hope so.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Monday, December 04, 2006
Medical Engrish (Part II)
Oh yes, I almost forgot. When I am not galavanting around pretending to be a Japanese pop star, I still teach English at the medical school. In the last few weeks, I've received some truly brilliant responses on homework assignments which I will now post here for your reading pleasure.
1) Please express the following symptoms in complete sentences.
足が痺れている(leg/numbness): My leg is numbnessing.
背中の痛み (back pain): My bag is painful. / My back is bounding.
便秘 (constipation) I am constipation.
胸がぎゅっと痛む (tightness in chest) My heart is attached hardly.
2) Please ask the patient how long he has been experiencing the symptoms below.
背中の痛み (back pain): How long have you been a backache?
3) Please create a short conversation between a doctor and a patient.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble today?
Patient: Well, I have giddiness.
Doctor: Does the giddiness come at a certain time or while you are doing a certain activity?
Doctor: Perhaps, I am afraid you must take. [surgery]
Patient: Oh No! I dislike operations and I do not want to shave my hair...
Doctor: I can understand your mind. But it affects your life.
Doctor and Patient: ...
~Suddenly the patient smiled~
Patient: Let it be! Whatever will be, will be!
1) Please express the following symptoms in complete sentences.
足が痺れている(leg/numbness): My leg is numbnessing.
背中の痛み (back pain): My bag is painful. / My back is bounding.
便秘 (constipation) I am constipation.
胸がぎゅっと痛む (tightness in chest) My heart is attached hardly.
2) Please ask the patient how long he has been experiencing the symptoms below.
背中の痛み (back pain): How long have you been a backache?
3) Please create a short conversation between a doctor and a patient.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble today?
Patient: Well, I have giddiness.
Doctor: Does the giddiness come at a certain time or while you are doing a certain activity?
-----
Doctor: Perhaps, I am afraid you must take. [surgery]
Patient: Oh No! I dislike operations and I do not want to shave my hair...
Doctor: I can understand your mind. But it affects your life.
Doctor and Patient: ...
~Suddenly the patient smiled~
Patient: Let it be! Whatever will be, will be!
アイドル-ized
For the last few weeks, I have used the Nodo Jiman ("Japanese Idol") audition as the perfect excuse to waltz around my apartment singing at the top of my lungs. It really has been beautiful. (Actually, come to think of it, before this whole audition business came up, I sang all the time anyway, but that's beside the point.) Anyway, on November 19th, Tyler and I finally went to the NHK television studio for the audition, and it was every bit as entertaining as I had expected.
Our audition group consisted of contestants number 71 through 100, and since Tyler and I were numbers 99 and 100, we had to wait until the very end to sing. Fortunately, I had no time to get nervous, because I had to figure out how to fill out a rather exhaustive questionnaire about myself in Japanese. (Perhaps the hardest question was: Tell us about something exciting that has happened in your household lately. As a single gaijin living alone in an apartment in the middle of nowhere, I had a bit of trouble figuring out what to write for this one. Then again, I suppose the question probably was not aimed at my demographic. :)
After most people had finished the questionnaire (I was still working on translating Tyler's by then...hurt my brain a little bit...), we were all ushered into a big room and told to sit in a couple rows of chairs in the back. The director explained how the audition would work, and then one by one, each of us walked up to the front of the room and sang about a minute or so of our songs to a karaoke accompaniment.
Nodo Jiman actually seems to be quite a bit different from American Idol. For one thing, each contestant only appears on the show for one episode, not the whole season. Also, if you win your particular episode, you don't get a recording deal -- you just get a little trophy and the satisfaction of having done well. This means that the people who audition for the show are a bit different from the average American Idol contestant. Sure, I saw quite a few aspiring pop-divas at the studio, but there were also at least ten 70 or 80 year olds at the audition. They were all very cute and earnest, especially one poor man who forgot the words to his song in the middle and apologized profusely to the judges. Poor guy. Fortunately, they were very nice to him. "Japanese Idol" does not appear to have a Simon Cowell.
On the other end of the spectrum was a group of high school girls who dressed up in bright yellow cheerleader uniforms and did the peppiest dance I have ever seen to the Japanese version of Mickey. (Yes, the one that goes, "Hey Mickey, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey!") And then there was the group of three housewives who sang a song called UFO. They had attached pipe-cleaner antennae to their heads, presumably to look like space aliens (???), and had choreographed a rather elaborate dance just about as jaw-droppingly cutsy as the cheerleaders'...except that they were middle aged ladies. Truly amazing. I really can't do their dance justice here, so here's hoping that they make it to the TV show so that I can show you a recording.
By the time Tyler and I finally sang, almost all of the other contestants had already left, so it was just us, a few stragglers, two cameramen, and a few important looking NHK people wearing suits. Tyler sang a nice rendition of Let it Be by the Beatles. (He was disappointed afterwards because he got a little tongue-tied in the middle, but since the song was in English, I highly doubt that anyone noticed besides me.) I thought he was quite good.
For my song, I chose Warabigami, a lullaby by an Okinawan artist called Rimi Natsukawa. I had debated whether to sing in English or Japanese, but finally decided that I would gamble and go for the Holy-cow-it's-a-gaijin-singing-in-Japanese Surprise Factor. On the day of the audition, I had been coughing all morning, so I was kind of worried that I would start hacking in the middle and make a fool of myself, but fortunately, by the time it was my turn to sing, the tickle in my throat was pretty much gone and I was able to relax. It really was one of those days where the notes popped right out and singing felt effortless and fun. I felt really lucky. Standing in the lights at the front of the room, I couldn't really see the judges' faces, but Tyler said that they seemed really surprised to hear me singing in Japanese. Mission accomplished. After a short interview with the judges, I left the TV studio feeling pretty nice. I love to sing.
The director of Nodo Jiman told us that the NHK would call us with the results of the audition sometime after November 28th. In the meantime, Tyler and I set off to Osaka and Kyoto for the long weekend to meet friends and see the pretty autumn leaves. The leaves really were gorgeous -- unfortunately, my camera is broken so I wasn't able to take any pictures, but Tyler took lots so maybe I can post his sometime. My host family was doing well (my host mom had new front teeth!) and they fed us lots and lots of beautiful food. The professor who I worked with last summer also took us out for Korean style barbecue beef. mmmm...I could talk about the beautiful food forever, but I'll spare you the food stories for now and move on with this entry.
One night while we were at Kiyomizudera, a famous temple in Kyoto, I got a phone call on my cell. The man on the other end said, "Hi, my name is Watanabe. I met you at the Autumn Festival in Shigenobu. Do you remember me?" I do in fact remember meeting about fifteen people named Watanabe at the Autumn Festival, but unfortunately, I had no idea which one this mystery caller was. (Watanabe is about as common as Smith is in America, I think.) Anyway, I said that I remembered him since it was sort of half true, and he said, "There's this guy named Takeshi who wants to meet you. He's heard so much about you. Are you free next week?"
Hmmm, I thought, Takeshi?? Takeshi??...Who is Takeshi?...Is Mystery-Watanabe-san trying to set me up on a blind date with a random Japanese guy? What?! How interesting... I was super confused, but finally just told Mystery-Watanabe-san that I was out of town at the moment and would check my schedule later and get back to him.
The next Monday, I found two messages on my phone from Mystery-Watanabe-san and Takeshi. As soon as I heard the beginning of Takeshi's message, I realized that he was the hip 60-something Shinto Priest/Jazz Pianist from the festival. He actually wanted to see me because he had heard (from who??) that I am a singer and wanted me to come perform with his combo at a concert in December. The other day, I went over to his house to practice, and he was very impressed with my good English pronunciation. (heh. Yes, as long as you can speak English and carry a tune, you too can become a pop star in Japan.) Anyway, I'm apparently going to be singing at a club in Matsuyama on Friday night with the Shinto priest's combo. Step two of my journey to Japanese Pop-Stardom completed.
November 28th came and went with no phone call from the NHK, so I figured that I must not have passed the audition. Since the NHK had said that they would only take six out of the one hundred auditionees, I wasn't too down, although it would have been fun to be on TV in a foreign country. But two days later, I checked my cell phone messages on the way to a lesson and found one from the NHK. At first I thought they were calling just to thank me for auditioning, but halfway through the message, I realized that I had been picked for the TV show.
At this point, I was by myself, walking through the shopping arcades in Matsuyama. You wanna know what happens to a gaijin when she receives ridiculously funny news in the middle of the city and has no one to tell? Well, let me tell you. For about half an hour, the whole world became a musical. If I had been wearing a hat, I probably would have thrown it into the air and spun around in a circle like Mary Tyler Moore. If I had been able to dance, I probably would have tap-danced down the shopping arcade. But unfortunately, neither of these applied to me, and so I sort of smiled and hummed to myself while walking briskly...Not quite as fun as one of those big dance numbers, but oh well. (Oh, if only the world was a musical...have I mentioned that I love to sing?)
Funny stories really are not very exciting when you have no one to tell them to. So the next morning, when I ran into a friend of mine on the way to work, I mentioned the Nodo Jiman story to her. She must have thought that this was fabulous news, because seriously within thirty minutes, three other people called me to ask about the show. Everyone really does know everyone here, I think. My town is hysterical.
Incidentally, I will probably only sing on TV for about one minute. Sadly, I doubt that this will be enough to boost me to true Japanese pop-stardom, but that's ok. I'm really just excited to have the chance to sing. :D
Our audition group consisted of contestants number 71 through 100, and since Tyler and I were numbers 99 and 100, we had to wait until the very end to sing. Fortunately, I had no time to get nervous, because I had to figure out how to fill out a rather exhaustive questionnaire about myself in Japanese. (Perhaps the hardest question was: Tell us about something exciting that has happened in your household lately. As a single gaijin living alone in an apartment in the middle of nowhere, I had a bit of trouble figuring out what to write for this one. Then again, I suppose the question probably was not aimed at my demographic. :)
After most people had finished the questionnaire (I was still working on translating Tyler's by then...hurt my brain a little bit...), we were all ushered into a big room and told to sit in a couple rows of chairs in the back. The director explained how the audition would work, and then one by one, each of us walked up to the front of the room and sang about a minute or so of our songs to a karaoke accompaniment.
Nodo Jiman actually seems to be quite a bit different from American Idol. For one thing, each contestant only appears on the show for one episode, not the whole season. Also, if you win your particular episode, you don't get a recording deal -- you just get a little trophy and the satisfaction of having done well. This means that the people who audition for the show are a bit different from the average American Idol contestant. Sure, I saw quite a few aspiring pop-divas at the studio, but there were also at least ten 70 or 80 year olds at the audition. They were all very cute and earnest, especially one poor man who forgot the words to his song in the middle and apologized profusely to the judges. Poor guy. Fortunately, they were very nice to him. "Japanese Idol" does not appear to have a Simon Cowell.
On the other end of the spectrum was a group of high school girls who dressed up in bright yellow cheerleader uniforms and did the peppiest dance I have ever seen to the Japanese version of Mickey. (Yes, the one that goes, "Hey Mickey, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey!") And then there was the group of three housewives who sang a song called UFO. They had attached pipe-cleaner antennae to their heads, presumably to look like space aliens (???), and had choreographed a rather elaborate dance just about as jaw-droppingly cutsy as the cheerleaders'...except that they were middle aged ladies. Truly amazing. I really can't do their dance justice here, so here's hoping that they make it to the TV show so that I can show you a recording.
By the time Tyler and I finally sang, almost all of the other contestants had already left, so it was just us, a few stragglers, two cameramen, and a few important looking NHK people wearing suits. Tyler sang a nice rendition of Let it Be by the Beatles. (He was disappointed afterwards because he got a little tongue-tied in the middle, but since the song was in English, I highly doubt that anyone noticed besides me.) I thought he was quite good.
For my song, I chose Warabigami, a lullaby by an Okinawan artist called Rimi Natsukawa. I had debated whether to sing in English or Japanese, but finally decided that I would gamble and go for the Holy-cow-it's-a-gaijin-singing-in-Japanese Surprise Factor. On the day of the audition, I had been coughing all morning, so I was kind of worried that I would start hacking in the middle and make a fool of myself, but fortunately, by the time it was my turn to sing, the tickle in my throat was pretty much gone and I was able to relax. It really was one of those days where the notes popped right out and singing felt effortless and fun. I felt really lucky. Standing in the lights at the front of the room, I couldn't really see the judges' faces, but Tyler said that they seemed really surprised to hear me singing in Japanese. Mission accomplished. After a short interview with the judges, I left the TV studio feeling pretty nice. I love to sing.
The director of Nodo Jiman told us that the NHK would call us with the results of the audition sometime after November 28th. In the meantime, Tyler and I set off to Osaka and Kyoto for the long weekend to meet friends and see the pretty autumn leaves. The leaves really were gorgeous -- unfortunately, my camera is broken so I wasn't able to take any pictures, but Tyler took lots so maybe I can post his sometime. My host family was doing well (my host mom had new front teeth!) and they fed us lots and lots of beautiful food. The professor who I worked with last summer also took us out for Korean style barbecue beef. mmmm...I could talk about the beautiful food forever, but I'll spare you the food stories for now and move on with this entry.
One night while we were at Kiyomizudera, a famous temple in Kyoto, I got a phone call on my cell. The man on the other end said, "Hi, my name is Watanabe. I met you at the Autumn Festival in Shigenobu. Do you remember me?" I do in fact remember meeting about fifteen people named Watanabe at the Autumn Festival, but unfortunately, I had no idea which one this mystery caller was. (Watanabe is about as common as Smith is in America, I think.) Anyway, I said that I remembered him since it was sort of half true, and he said, "There's this guy named Takeshi who wants to meet you. He's heard so much about you. Are you free next week?"
Hmmm, I thought, Takeshi?? Takeshi??...Who is Takeshi?...Is Mystery-Watanabe-san trying to set me up on a blind date with a random Japanese guy? What?! How interesting... I was super confused, but finally just told Mystery-Watanabe-san that I was out of town at the moment and would check my schedule later and get back to him.
The next Monday, I found two messages on my phone from Mystery-Watanabe-san and Takeshi. As soon as I heard the beginning of Takeshi's message, I realized that he was the hip 60-something Shinto Priest/Jazz Pianist from the festival. He actually wanted to see me because he had heard (from who??) that I am a singer and wanted me to come perform with his combo at a concert in December. The other day, I went over to his house to practice, and he was very impressed with my good English pronunciation. (heh. Yes, as long as you can speak English and carry a tune, you too can become a pop star in Japan.) Anyway, I'm apparently going to be singing at a club in Matsuyama on Friday night with the Shinto priest's combo. Step two of my journey to Japanese Pop-Stardom completed.
November 28th came and went with no phone call from the NHK, so I figured that I must not have passed the audition. Since the NHK had said that they would only take six out of the one hundred auditionees, I wasn't too down, although it would have been fun to be on TV in a foreign country. But two days later, I checked my cell phone messages on the way to a lesson and found one from the NHK. At first I thought they were calling just to thank me for auditioning, but halfway through the message, I realized that I had been picked for the TV show.
At this point, I was by myself, walking through the shopping arcades in Matsuyama. You wanna know what happens to a gaijin when she receives ridiculously funny news in the middle of the city and has no one to tell? Well, let me tell you. For about half an hour, the whole world became a musical. If I had been wearing a hat, I probably would have thrown it into the air and spun around in a circle like Mary Tyler Moore. If I had been able to dance, I probably would have tap-danced down the shopping arcade. But unfortunately, neither of these applied to me, and so I sort of smiled and hummed to myself while walking briskly...Not quite as fun as one of those big dance numbers, but oh well. (Oh, if only the world was a musical...have I mentioned that I love to sing?)
Funny stories really are not very exciting when you have no one to tell them to. So the next morning, when I ran into a friend of mine on the way to work, I mentioned the Nodo Jiman story to her. She must have thought that this was fabulous news, because seriously within thirty minutes, three other people called me to ask about the show. Everyone really does know everyone here, I think. My town is hysterical.
Incidentally, I will probably only sing on TV for about one minute. Sadly, I doubt that this will be enough to boost me to true Japanese pop-stardom, but that's ok. I'm really just excited to have the chance to sing. :D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)