Coming Soon to Your Local Bookstore....

Being a stingy, penny-pinching miser, I booked the cheapest youth hostel I could find for my Okinawa trip. I figured that all I needed was a place to sleep for a few nights -- nothing fancy -- so I was quite surprised when I found that my bargain five-night stay came packaged with a magic show, an ethnic music workshop, and a philosophy lecture.

On my first night in the hostel, I went downstairs to the common area to check my e-mail and noticed a rather large, middle-aged man napping on the couch with his mouth wide open. Just as I started to wonder why he hadn't passed out in the privacy of his own room, one of the hostel staff members looked over and said, "Oh, you're wondering about Ken-san, huh? He owns this place." So I guess he was in his own room after all. Mystery solved.

I was about to finish e-mailing and go to bed when Ken-san woke up and spied me across the room. Still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he waved me over to the sitting area, and said in English, "Hello! Magician! I am magician!" In a few minutes he was wide awake, apparently beguiled by my gaijin charms. He eagerly whipped out a deck of cards, a rope, and a bouquet of flowers, and proceeded to show me a variety of card tricks, some more successful than others... :)

After an hour or so, I was about to excuse myself and head up to my room when Ken-san decided it was time to bring out his collection of small African hand drums. He talked me into trying one out, and after a mere fifteen minutes, he proclaimed me the best African hand drummer he had ever heard. Sweet. (I'm not sure exactly how Ken-san became an expert on African hand drumming, but hey, I'll take what I can get...)

A few nights later, I ran into Ken-san again in the lobby. This time he insisted that I join in a discussion he was having with another guy on the hostel staff:

Ken-san: Oh hi! Hey, sit down. I've been thinking and there's something important I want to tell you.

Me: Um.....oh? What's that?

Ken-san: Well, you see, it's like this. I realized when I was meditating in India that the world we live in is breaking. (other hostel staff guy takes this opportunity to make his escape from the lobby)

Me: Uh huh.

Ken-san: People are taking too much from nature and not giving enough back.

Me: mmm, I guess a lot of people don't have very sustainable lifestyles.

Ken-san: Yes! Yes! We are destroying the earth so quickly that it is losing its natural ability to heal itself. Actually, it might be too late to save ourselves even now. You see, there's this species of grass in India that has the life force to single-handedly stop global warming....

Me: mmm hmm....

Ken-san: Yes, the gods told me that this grass is the key, but it's slowly going extinct.....

[half an hour later]

Ken-san: ...so I sat under a waterfall in India, and after two or three hours, I finally realized something amazing. You won't believe this.

Me: (nodding and nodding some more)

Ken-san: Few people know this, but there are gods above the regular gods. And once we hear
these higher gods, we can discover the key.

Me: Ooohhh....really? The key, huh??

Ken-san: Yes. Yes! So now that I've finally been able to commune with the higher gods, I've made an important decision. I'm going to write a book! It should be done in three years, I think, and I'm going to call it 自然 25 (Nature 25). Pretty catchy, huh?

Me: Yes. Yes.

Ken-san: This book is going to be ol' Ken-san's way of saving the earth. You see, I must spread the word about the other gods, because if we take action now, we can heal the earth in just 25 years. Thus, 自然 25. Pretty slick, huh?

Me: Er, yeah. Um, wow....so...um how're we supposed to save the world?

Ken-san: Well, I'm going to sell the book all over the world, in America and especially China. And once brilliant young people like you read the book, they'll realize that it is their obligation to take action. The gods are calling you!

Me: (Captain Planet theme flashback) Ah...yes....er, well I'll be sure to keep an eye out for your book.

Ken-san: Yes, yes. Truly brilliant and talented people like you and my daughter need to hear the message. You guys will have to get in position to influence government decisions and make changes.

Me: Right. Right. Well, I'll definitely get a copy.

Ken-san: Good. I'm not worried about you. I am a little anxious about my daughter right now, though. Not really sure if she's hearing the message yet. She's taking her college entrance exams right now, but I can't quite tell if she's on the right track.

Me: Oh really? What is she studying?

Ken-san: Oh, law, I think. But I'm really hoping that she'll change her mind and become a dolphin trainer.

Me: ...