When I Grow Up...

Last week, the medical school's spring break* ended and I started teaching Medical English classes again. Looking back on last semester, I am pleased to say that it passed by without any major disasters:

# of tacks planted on my chair by naughty students: 0
# of students who offered me nut-flavored lip gloss: 0
# of episodes of paralyzing speech fright in front of giant class of 50+ medical students: 0
# of times all grades for the entire semester were almost lost due to computer crashes: 1
# of backup copies of the grades: 1 (phew!)
# of times I slept through class: 0!**

Besides avoiding complete catastrophe last semester, I am proud to say that I also made a little progress as a teacher in a couple of ways:

1. I know a little more English than I did before.
It's one thing to know that "Is there something right of women doctor?" sounds funny, and quite another thing to know how to help the student fix it. I'm beginning to find that all of that grammar stuff from Mrs. Jacobsen's third grade class might have been useful after all. Here's hoping that this quarter, I can tell my present perfect from my past continuous and all that nonsense.

2. I recently realized that I am a teacher.
This actually took quite a long time -- it's hard to feel like a real teacher when most of your private students are in their forties or fifties, and most of the medical students are about the same age as you are.

I can still picture the moment when it dawned on me that I'm actually supposed to know what I'm doing. At the end of last quarter, one of my students missed the final exam. My big boss called him down to our office to explain himself, and a few minutes later, the two of them came over to my desk to consult with me.

Big Boss: Lindsay, I would like to ask you to allow Mr. Kai to take the final exam. Do you think you can do that?

Me: (a little taken aback: Why is the Big Boss asking me what to do???) Um...er...um...yes, sure. um...ok. yeah, I think that would be okay...but maybe there should be some sort of...er...penalty for missing the original test?

Big Boss: Yes, I think that is appropriate. Mr. Kai, please make arrangements with Lindsay to take the final.

Kai: (looks at his feet like a guy from one of those awkward Southwest Airlines commercials, while bowing to me repeatedly like I'm the university president or the emperor or something) Sensei, thank you. Thank you very much.

As I watched that student practically grovel at my feet, it hit me: geez, he's the student and I'm the teacher. He thinks I'm a grown-up!?!

Okay, so officially, I've been a grown-up for the last five years, but I think there's a little more to growing up than simply turning 18 (or 20 if you happen to live in Japan.) Maybe it's something more like this:

grown-up: a person who 1) has gained knowledge from various life experiences [graduating from school, finding a job, becoming financially independent, moving out, getting married etc.], and 2) uses that knowledge to support him/herself and live independently in society.

That sounds a little better somehow, doesn't it? But it still has issues....

Am I more grown up than Ikuko, the secretary in my office, because I don't live with my parents anymore? Or is she more grown up than me because she's about twenty years older?

Am I more grown up than all the stay-at-home moms I've met here because I have a full-time job? Or are they more grown up than I am because they're married with kids?

At any rate, it's not so black and white. There are a lot of stories about one magical point in time when a child suddenly becomes an adult, but I suppose I shouldn't sit around waiting for that moment to come, because growing up is a little messier than that. More like a maze of passages and staircases than an elevator. Kind of scary if you think about it. I'm a college graduate, but I'm not qualified to do anything. I can do differential calculus, but I can't do my own taxes. I look like a woman, but feel like a kid. Halfway in between.

Fortunately, halfway's not such a bad place to be for now. Take today, for example: I'm just grown-up enough to operate video cameras, copy machines, and CT scanners by myself, and just enough of a kid to make absurd videos like this for the Medical English class. :D


* I haven't exactly been on vacation since I was still teaching all of my private lessons, but I was able to travel a bit in between lessons. More about that in a later post.

** You may not realize it, but this is a huge achievement for me. Only nine months ago, I was the college student who slept through three alarms and ran to Japanese class in her pajamas at least once a week.