Medical Engrish (Part II)

Oh yes, I almost forgot. When I am not galavanting around pretending to be a Japanese pop star, I still teach English at the medical school. In the last few weeks, I've received some truly brilliant responses on homework assignments which I will now post here for your reading pleasure.

1) Please express the following symptoms in complete sentences.

足が痺れている(leg/numbness): My leg is numbnessing.

背中の痛み (back pain): My bag is painful. / My back is bounding.

便秘 (constipation) I am constipation.

胸がぎゅっと痛む (tightness in chest) My heart is attached hardly.


2) Please ask the patient how long he has been experiencing the symptoms below.

背中の痛み (back pain): How long have you been a backache?


3) Please create a short conversation between a doctor and a patient.

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble today?

Patient: Well, I have giddiness.

Doctor: Does the giddiness come at a certain time or while you are doing a certain activity?

-----

Doctor: Perhaps, I am afraid you must take. [surgery]

Patient: Oh No! I dislike operations and I do not want to shave my hair...

Doctor: I can understand your mind. But it affects your life.

Doctor and Patient: ...

~Suddenly the patient smiled~

Patient: Let it be! Whatever will be, will be!