お久しぶり

Hello again, how have you all been? So much has happened in the last couple of weeks that I've had a ton to write about, but no time to post. :( Anyway, at long last, here's a little update, starting with the most exciting development of all:

-- My pink toilet paper ran out last week, so I was finally able to replace it with white. As pink is against my principles, you can imagine that this was quite a relief for me.

-- Tyler and I finally convinced Ikuko (our boss) to allow us to use Office of Medical English funds to fix up our old old apartments. Two weeks ago, we ordered new washing machines, which are probably the most beautiful things I have ever seen. (The old washing machine was beginning to try my patience a bit, since my clothes actually came out dirtier after I washed them.)

Yesterday, I also installed some weatherstripping in the inch-wide crack between my sliding glass doors. (Apparently, one of the previous English teachers installed the apartment's air conditioning unit himself. This would have been a delightfully wonderful idea except for the fact that he fed the air conditioner's hose out through the door leaving a gigantic crack. I guess that since a tenant installed the air conditioner, the landlord was not responsible for the gaping hole in the door, so I have taken it upon myself to ensure that I do not freeze to death from the draft.) Now that the hole is plugged up and I've dragged a couple space heaters out of the closet, it's reasonably comfortable in my apartment at night, but I still definitely prefer central heating. :(

-- I've recently decided that I will abandon my plans to become a doctor in favor of becoming a Japanese pop star. Now, don't laugh -- it's actually not quite as impossible as you think. You see, in just two short months in Japan, I have already managed to make an appearance on Japanese TV.

My journey towards stardom began several weeks ago when one of the professors at the medical school mentioned me to the director of a local amateur jazz orchestra. The director (or as they call him in Japanese, the band mastaa) was apparently really excited to meet me, and wrote me a letter in super polite Japanese, which went something like this: If you would do our humble band the great honor of playing the third trombone part at our upcoming concert, we would be eternally grateful. The letter was actually so polite that I could barely understand it, but at any rate, I went to meet the band and ended up playing in the concert after just one rehearsal with the group.

It just so happened that during my one and only rehearsal with the band, a camera crew from the prefectural television station came by. I think they wanted to film the band and interview the band mastaa to advertise for some kind of local jazz festival. But naturally, the camera man found the lone foreign band member much more fascinating than the band mastaa, and spent a considerable amount of time filming me. I didn't end up seeing the TV spot, but some of my private lessons students told me this week that they saw me on the Friday evening news playing my trombone.

Now, you may be thinking, er...that's really fabulous, but a fifteen second spot on the news isn't exactly going to lead to instant stardom... but actually, dear readers, there is more. A few weeks ago, one of my private students suggested that Tyler and I send in entry forms to Nodo Jiman (のど自慢), the Japanese equivalent of American Idol. Since zillions of people attempt to appear on this show, I really didn't think that I had much of a shot, but I sent in the form anyway just for the heck of it.

This Monday, Tyler and I both got postcards back from Nodo Jiman asking us to sing at an audition a week from Sunday. Supposedly, the 100 auditionees were selected at random, but I find this a bit hard to believe, since Tyler is number 99 and I am number 100. I take this as a sign that we are destined to become wildly popular gaijin superstars.

Actually, only six people out of 100 will pass on to the next round and appear on TV, so I'm not exactly counting on making it to the show. But I imagine that the audition itself will be hilarious, and I will most definitely write another entry about it in a couple weeks, so stick around. :)

-- My private lesson with the dreaded Health Center class was rather interesting last night. I started off the lesson by asking the students what they had done last week, and here's what transpired:

Sweet Japanese lady who almost never speaks during class: ...I gotto....married.

Me: Oh, really?! You got married?! That's wonderful. Congratulations!!

Sweet: (smiles broadly and switches to Japanese) Actually, we're going to have the ceremony in January, but we went to City Hall to sign the papers last week. And uh, we're going to have a baby.

Everyone else: Oh, wow. Congratulations! That's so great! (Long conversation in mad Japanese about baby boys and girls, wedding dresses, kimonos, hotels, Sweet's husband, her career plans, etc.)

Me: (switching back to English) Wow, that's really great. I'm so happy for you. I'll bet no one else has a better story than that. (everyone laughs and Dr. O raises his hand)

Dr. O: My wife ando I aaa gettingu a divorce.

Everyone: ...

Me: Er, uh....oh. Really? Well, gee, um....I hope that you guys can talk...and um...

Sweet: (looks at me) What izu dibosu?

Me: Er, divorce? It's 離婚.

Sweet: (looks down at the table away from Dr. O, who happens to be sitting right next to her)

Dr. O: Yes, um, my wife went back to her parents' house in Ouzu yesterday.

Me: Oh...uh..hmm....

Ms. H: (hastily jumps in in mad Japanese) Ouzu? Oh really? Well, how about that. I'm from Ouzu and I went to Ouzu High School, and uh...would you believe this? The guy who invented the blue ray diode went to my high school.

Everyone: (looking back up from the table) Oh, is that so? The blue ray diode? How impressive. (A crazy Japanese conversation about diodes and things ensues as everyone tries to avoid looking at Dr. O)

Awkward.